Miracles

I have to say that before I went to Africa, I believed in miracles.

I really did. I believed that God gave Gideon a sign. I believed that He supernatually killed 185,000 Assyrian soldiers before they could assault Jerusalem. I believed that Jesus healed a blind man, and a crippled man and even raised Lazarus from the dead.

I believed that God raised His Son, Jesus, from the dead after Jesus voluntarily sacrificed His life as an atonement for my sins.

I really did and do believe all of those things.

I also believe that God caused me to miraculously become pregnant with our son when all the doctors said "No, chance, babe. You'll need IVF"

What I had never really given a lot of thought to was whether or not I really believed that the God of the universe still works miracles - personal small, everyday miracles - today.

And lets be real. The miracles I listed above are personal miracles. Yes they had huge impact and significance on a nation or even on mankind, or on my life as I knew it, but they were personal.

God gave Gideon the specific sign he asked for. Twice.

God defeated 185,000 Assyrians after King Hezekiah went into the temple, spread out his problem before the Lord and sought His help and counsel.

I think it is safe to say that to the blind man, the crippled man and Lazarus, their respective healings were very personal.

And I think that being restored to communion with the Father was a personal miracle for us all.

So what's the point, Mandy? Why all this talk about personal miracles?

Because, in Africa, He performed one for me.

When we landed in Lietnhom, Sudan, I stepped off the small, twin engine aircraft into a world I arrogantly thought I had imagined, but had not begun to understand.

The sights, smells, heat, dry air, crush of beautiful people - adults and children - who want to be exactly where you are, and the overwhelming desire to love, hug, and otherwise intimately know each and every one of them was, to say the least, overwhelming.

When all our luggage was off the plane, we began to walk. I wanted to see everything, as did everyone with us. To visit places they had seen before, that I wanted to see for the first time. To assess the damage that had been done in the attacks launched against this precious people seven months before. To visit those they knew, that I would come to know.

We stopped at the area where the team had stayed last year, then the River, then walked through the market, all on the way to the Alarm compound where we stayed.

About three-quarters into the walk, I started to feel faint, and strange and realized that I had not been drinking enough water and had not applied sunscreen before the walk. I was getting burnt and dehydrated.

In Nashville, this would not be a big deal. I would come inside my nice air conditioned, cool house and have a nice tall glass of ice water and lay on my couch until I felt better. Not so in Sudan.

For the next two days, I was very sick. I couldn't eat or rest. I questioned my decision to come to Africa - as if it was my decision in the first place - HA - I cried, missing my family, and I prayed asking God why I was even there if I was just going to be sick the whole time...pity party anyone?

I wrote a prayer in my journal asking God why I was there if only to be sick and begged Him to heal me. To "make me whole" and "fill me with Your peace and calm and make my body strong."

Right after I wrote those words, I "suddenly" had the idea to get my MP3 player out of my bag to listen to it. Interesting considering the battery was completely dead. On the plane flying into Lietnhom, it had died and cut itself off. NO CHANCE it would turn on...except it did.

I sat in the middle of my bed, staring at a battery indicator that read 3/4 full still holding my prayer notebook.

I should also tell you that there is NOTHING more soothing to me than music when I feel sick. It helps me rest. It soothes my soul. The Lord knows this because this is how He created me. He knows that the best way to give me "peace and calm" is through music.

I laid back on the bed and pressed play. These are the first words I heard:

"The universe is vast beyond the stars,
But you are mindful when a sparrow falls.
You're mindful of the anxious thoughts that find me, surround me and bind me."

From a song entitled "Jesus, King of Angels" by Fernando Ortega - my NUMBER ONE choice for calming music.

For the next hour and a half I laid on my bed and listened to Fernando on my "dead" MP3 player. I even slept, which in Sudan in the middle of the day is quite a feat...it's very hot, and therefore not comfortable napping conditions.

When the rest of the team returned from a walk they had taken, I woke up and went to join them to sit outside. I was already beginning to feel better and was even able to eat dinner that night.

I didn't have a moment's feeling of illness for the rest our stay in Sudan.

A couple of days later, on a whim, I decided to try the MP3 player again, just because I wanted to...it was dead as a doornail and did not come on again until I had charged it back home.

Falling Whistles

Today I am brokenhearted by a story I read.

I know this blog is supposed to be about the process that our family is walking through in our adoption story, but today, it's going to be about more than that.

Today, it's going to be about the story of precious babies on the other side of the world who have been ripped from their homes - if you can call them homes - and their families. Babies who have been abused, neglected, used and then forced to kill or be killed.

Today it's going to be about the story of the helpless children in the DR Congo, Africa.

The link at the end of this post tells the story of some of the children of the Congo. They have been abducted and forced fight in a war they did not start.

But more specifically, this story is about the youngest of these. The ones, too small to hold a weapon, and so, given a whistle to scare off the enemy, are placed on the front line to be a human barricade.

Read it. Then bring these precious ones before the Father.

http://fallingwhistles.com/SOS-82644-FallingWhistles.pdf

The Lord is my Helper and my Redeemer
In a time of pain, He is my Strength
And in illness, my Healer
When I am hurt and alone, I am not
Because He never lets go of my hand
He is with me every moment of all the days He gives me
I am never alone
Though I may feel fear, He is my Peace
For His protection is perfect and everlasting.

A Christmas Hug

I know it's been quite awhile since I've updated this blog. Lots has been going on, though not with the adoption, and I honestly haven't had the time.

Today I'm making the time because earlier this week, God gave me a Christmas hug.

As a result of my recent trip to Africa, I have had some follow up doctor visits. On the way to my most recent one on this Monday past, I was listening to my iPod. My sister had been in town the previous day and had tuned it to play the Third Day "Christmas Offerings" CD that I had never listened to from beginning to end. (It's part of a "Christmas Playlist" and I am a playlist fan!) So, as I was driving, the CD playing, I was enjoying the familiar carols that I thought were the whole of the CD. Then a song came on that I had never heard before. I thought, "Huh. That's not a carol." I was curious because I really like Third Day and I'd never even heard this music on the radio.

Then the words started. Let me assure you that I nearly had to pull over because of the tears that started to flow (a more common occurrance since coming home from Africa, I've noticed).

I have been telling everyone who asks that we expect a referral for our daughter anytime after next July (because the timeframe we've been given is 11-15 months from our approval date of August 21, 2008) and that my prayer is that we will have her home before next Christmas.

Please listen to the song below and if you need to cry a little, well, you're in good company.

http://www.rhapsody.com/goto?rcid=tra.11944638&variant=play

and below are the lyrics



Lyrics

Caleb-isms V

This is my child. He is crazy, kind, thoughtful, sweet, and knows how to work me like nobody's business...

Tonight, when Steven and I thought he was in bed asleep, this is where we found him:

Fast asleep... face down...

at the top of the stairs.


Notice, he didn't forget to bring his lion.

He never fails to surprise us.

When Steven and I had gotten our laughter under control, I moved him to his bed. He never even blinked and will probably be surprised to find himself there in the morning.

Crazy kid.

Caleb-isms IV

While stalling before his bath tonight, Caleb said he needed to go to the bathroom. Steven was standing in the bathroom with him when he said,

"Daddy, could you close the door? I need some practicey."

I mean, really. What more comic relief could we need with him around?

Isaiah beginnings

Last week was the first meeting of the Precept Upon Precept class I participate in at my church. We met to pick up our books and will be meeting this week with our first week of homework done.  We are studying...Isaiah!  I've been looking forward to this study for almost a year, and I have to say that it is already as wonderful as I knew it would be.

In the first chapter of Isaiah, the Lord is making a "case" against the nation of Israel for the sin and iniquity that have plagued the hearts and minds of most every man, woman and child.  I have studied the prophets before so I have seen this "case-making" before.  What is new, and already so striking to me is the beauty of the language the Lord has used.

1:5b, 6

The whole head is sick

And the whole heart is faint

From the sole of the foot even to the head

There is nothing sound in it, 

Only bruises, welts, and raw wounds,

Not pressed out or bandaged

Nor softened with oil.

That is the result of sin.  Their sin and ours.  It is true that those of us who claim Jesus as the Lord and Savior of our lives can claim (1:18b) "Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool."  But just because we claim Jesus as the Lord of our lives does not mean we are incapable of sin. It means we are not slaves to it.  We can still make poor choices that are sinful.  We can still sin.

I found this description to be so vivid.  This is how our God sees our hearts.  This is what they look like to him when we choose to walk in sin.  We are a mess of bruises, welts and raw wounds with no band-aids or Neosporin.  But we don't have to walk in sin.  We can turn around and lay hold of the bandage of Jesus and He will be salve for our wounds.